Okay, time’s up. I can’t do this for much longer. My job is thankless, nearly mindless, and could be done by someone who didn’t graduate from high school. Why did my parents pay for me to get a degree, and why did I start grad school and shell out $13,000 if I was going to be a fucking copy wench? This is not starting at the bottom to move up, this is just plain garbage. I try to convince myself that it’s Zen . . . I find it meditative to make 8 copies of specs – punched and bound (1600 pages worth) and then do it again the next day because I failed to notice some of them were double-sided. I like that, right? And that fact that I forget to lock a particular drawer and occasionally let us run out of, I don’t know, paperclips, clearly means that I am mentally deficient – or at least those are the looks and the inferences I get from others. Why, oh why did I take AP classes, how could I have even considered retaking the SAT’s when I got a 1480, what possessed me to take on the responsibilities of Drum Major or News Producer in college, why did I write scholarship essays and move myself to LA? Did I do these things so I could take shit from people with half my intelligence when I don’t rise the occasion of ordering paperclips?
I have to go back to school. I have 1/3 of a Masters Degree and I’m sure my credits will transfer into at least a few different programs. I want to run a writing center, or teach Poli Sci 201; for the love of god I will work at the Sylvan learning center . . . just something where I can use my skills. Yes! Skills! I have some. I’m a talented leader, a talented teacher, I’m creative and resourceful and crafty. I have an eye for style, a love and sense for music. I said I’d do this for a year when I transferred (that apparently made me “worth” the training time), but I don’t know if I can make it. I didn’t spend 18 years being a dedicated achiever and cultivating my talents for my biggest challenge to be double-sided copies.
What happens if you don't make it through a full year? Unless they have a contract that says that you owe them a lot of money or something like that, screw it. Do something you'll enjoy.
Unfortunately, if you're thinking of grad school, now's a bit late for this semester. But perhaps you could start at some place in January. And if you quit soon, you could even enjoy a couple of months free before you'd start school. :)
Posted by: Eric Albert at August 25, 2004 06:37 AMWell, if I don't stay a year my name is mud . . . my mom is the HR director so I am a special sort of employee - I represent myself AND an eexecutive in everything I do. This is the only place I've worked outside of OSU, so I need the references. Not that they wouldn't still be good from most people I've worked with . . .
As it turns out, since I moved I am apparently not a resident of any state. I could continue at Portland State I suppose and never tell them of my address change, but there's the small dilemma of a 6 hour round trip to class. Now that I'm in WA I have to wait a year to prove myself to the public schools. Just as well since I still don't know what the hell I want to do.
I appreciate the support, though. Fortunately work has gotten better in the last week. :) Still menial and lots of other unpleasant adjectives, but such is life. At least I'm loved and well-fed.
Front the point of view of someone who sat in front of—or was it across from?—you in an AP class or seven:
Maybe you did all that shit (I could think of a more eloquent word, but I won’t), be it drum majoring or news producing or overall self-improving, because that’s who you are and that’s who you want to be, and because, at the end of the day, that’s what has given you personality and shit (there it is again) to talk about other than who-wore-what to the VMA’s (but in case you’re wondering, check out http://www.fuggingitup.com/). So when all is said and done, sure, you’re the most well-educated, creatively-mind, deep-thinking Collator around—which is not what you ever envisioned—but you’ve got other interests in life and things to think about when the need for printer ink is not a Top Priority. Not everyone can say that for him/herself.
The other night, I was bitching about not being proud of what I spend the 8 to 5 doing (also not proud of what I do when the sun goes down, but that’s off topic), and one of my friends says to me “You know, I think everyone feels the same way about their first, second, third jobs out of college. And then, they just come to realize that the corporate, working world is the same wherever they go…so the work won’t really change, but to make it bearable, the attitude has to”. In other words, the frustration peaks out. A somewhat dismal outlook on the next 40-some years of life, but in a way, I found comfort in her perspective. And, as you pointed out, the good days and the bad, they come in waves—so, it’s not all rough-and-tumble.
Lastly, if you don’t feel like making the 6 hour roundtrip to PSU, consider earning your online degree at http://www.devry-degrees.com/indexsf.jsp. I may or may not spend that 8 to 5 marketing for said for-profit education institution.