Nick is downstairs playing Halo 2 . . . no surprise. It's loud. There is some screeching guitar rock, grunting, and gun noises. Oh, and let's not forget the explosions. I don't get the appeal of games like this. At. All. Hours and hours of noise and violence and aiming and blood and being reincarnated every 5 or 10 or 20 minutes. Asie from all that, my ability to handle a remote ended with Super Nintendo. Four directions and two buttons are quite enough for me, thank you very much.
As said by Adam Felber on his blog at http://felbers.net/mt/.
November 03, 2004
Concession Speech
[Former candidate Felber, flanked by his family and supporters, steps up to the podium in the bright autumn sunlight. Cheers and applause are heard.]
My fellow Americans, the people of this nation have spoken, and spoken with a clear voice. So I am here to offer my concession. [Boos, groans, rending of garments]
I concede that I overestimated the intelligence of the American people. Though the people disagree with the President on almost every issue, you saw fit to vote for him. I never saw that coming. That's really special. And I mean "special" in the sense that we use it to describe those kids who ride the short school bus and find ways to injure themselves while eating pudding with rubber spoons. That kind of special.
I concede that I misjudged the power of hate. That's pretty powerful stuff, and I didn't see it. So let me take a moment to congratulate the President's strategists: Putting the gay marriage amendments on the ballot in various swing states like Ohio... well, that was just genius. Genius. It got people, a certain kind of people, to the polls. The unprecedented number of folks who showed up and cited "moral values" as their biggest issue, those people changed history. The folks who consider same sex marriage a more important issue than war, or terrorism, or the economy... Who'd have thought the election would belong to them? Well, Karl Rove did. Gotta give it up to him for that. [Boos.] Now, now. Credit where it's due.
I concede that I put too much faith in America's youth. With 8 out of 10 of you opposing the President, with your friends and classmates dying daily in a war you disapprove of, with your future being mortgaged to pay for rich old peoples' tax breaks, you somehow managed to sit on your asses and watch the Cartoon Network while aging homophobic hillbillies carried the day. You voted with the exact same anemic percentage that you did in 2000. You suck. Seriously, y'do. [Cheers, applause] Thank you. Thank you very much.
There are some who would say that I sound bitter, that now is the time for healing, to bring the nation together. Let me tell you a little story. Last night, I watched the returns come in with some friends here in Los Angeles. As the night progressed, people began to talk half-seriously about secession, a red state / blue state split. The reasoning was this: We in blue states produce the vast majority of the wealth in this country and pay the most taxes, and you in the red states receive the majority of the money from those taxes while complaining about 'em. We in the blue states are the only ones who've been attacked by foreign terrorists, yet you in the red states are gung ho to fight a war in our name. We in the blue states produce the entertainment that you consume so greedily each day, while you in the red states show open disdain for us and our values. Blue state civilians are the actual victims and targets of the war on terror, while red state civilians are the ones standing behind us and yelling "Oh, yeah!? Bring it on!"
More than 40% of you Bush voters still believe that Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11. I'm impressed by that, truly I am. Your sons and daughters who might die in this war know it's not true, the people in the urban centers where al Qaeda wants to attack know it's not true, but those of you who are at practically no risk believe this easy lie because you can. As part of my concession speech, let me say that I really envy that luxury. I concede that.
Healing? We, the people at risk from terrorists, the people who subsidize you, the people who speak in glowing and respectful terms about the heartland of America while that heartland insults and excoriates us... we wanted some healing. We spoke loud and clear. And you refused to give it to us, largely because of your high moral values. You knew better: America doesn't need its allies, doesn't need to share the burden, doesn't need to unite the world, doesn't need to provide for its future. Hell no. Not when it's got a human shield of pointy-headed, atheistic, unconfrontational breadwinners who are willing to pay the bills and play nice in the vain hope of winning a vote that we can never have. Because we're "morally inferior," I suppose, we are supposed to respect your values while you insult ours. And the big joke here is that for 20 years, we've done just that.
It's not a "ha-ha" funny joke, I realize, but it's a joke all the same.
Being an independent candidate gives me one luxury - as well as conceding the election today, I am also announcing my candidacy for President in 2008. [Wild applause, screams, chants of "Fel-ber! Fel-ber!] Thank you.
And I make this pledge to you today: THIS time, next time, there will be no pandering. This time I will run with all the open and joking contempt for my opponents that our President demonstrated towards the cradle of liberty, the Ivy League intellectuals, the "media elite," and the "white-wine sippers." This time I will not pretend that the simple folk of America know just as much as the people who devote their lives to serving and studying the nation and the world. They don't.
So that's why I'm asking for your vote in 2008, America. I'm talking to you, you ignorant, slack-jawed yokels, you bible-thumping, inbred drones, you redneck, racist, chest-thumping, perennially duped grade-school grads. Vote for me, because I know better, and I truly believe that I can help your smug, sorry asses. Vote Felber in '08! Thank you, and may God, if he does in fact exist, bless each and every one of you.
[Tumultuous cheers, applause, and foot-stomping. PULL BACK to reveal the rest of the stage, the row of cameras, hundreds of unoccupied chairs, and the empty field beyond.]
For the first time ... perhaps ever ... I'm embarassed to be an American.
I'm embarassed to be a member of a society that is so dumb, so intolerant, so religiously ass-backward that it can't even see straight anymore, and in which all of these trends look like they will get worse.
I guess the grand Republican plan is coming to fruition. Suppress education so that hordes of uneducated dumb misinformed echo chambers don't know what the truth is anymore, since that's just a nuisance that loses them votes. Screw the separation of Church and State, you need to force your religion on everyone so they stop thinking about people who don't agree with them. Don't bother with health care so that people who won't agree with them just die off.
Right about now I'm really very glad that I'm not gay and that I'm not suffering from a serious disease. For everyone that is, hopefully you outlive the soon-to-be Supreme Court ... I feel for you.
--Nick
No, I know it's not really a ban on love, but JESUS CHRIST. You fucking rednecks! It is not 100 BC or 400 AD . . . it's not even 1890! It's 2004. People can pay to travel to the moon and we've cloned a fucking sheep! We grow babies in test tubes and worship a guy with 6 girlfriends! You're telling me that we have "values" to protect? Bite me. Bite me hard. Love is a value that we can all still agree on - let's allow everyone to share the silly state benefits that are bestowed upon those who promise to try and love one another forever.
I've had it up to my ears with screening people's damn phone calls. I saw today that I got a "good" on my performance review. The choices being "needs improvement", "good", "very good", and "excellent". Not that I really give a fuck because they're rating me on how well I kowtow, but still.
I registered for the LSAT next month, bought study guides at lunch, secured my two letters of recommendation from excellent profs, and had all three of my officlal transcripts mailed. Now all I have to do is study my ass off for the next 32 days. I took the LSAT two years ago because I was going to make a last ditch effort at applying to law school (I had no post-graduation plan and it was freaking me out) and got a very unimpressive LSAT score. I didn't study much and I had the flu when I took the test. I mean, I actually had a box of Kleenex in there with me, and the puzzle/games require more concentration than I had to spare. Not to mention that I was unbelievably anxious about life at that time.
Anyhow, I've decided that law is where I need to be to make a difference. I'm passionate, tough, persistent, and an excellent debater and writer (I know, you can't tell from my entries). I think I can utilize all these skills as an attorney and probably protect/defend/work for a cause I really care about at the same time. Part of the reason I left my MPH program was because I felt like even with the degree I would be ineffectual. The JD will lend me more power - or at least the potential for more.