Dear, Sweet Puff,
I feel like this must be a nightmare. Something I will assuredly wake up from. But it's not. You're gone. My sweet, sweet baby is gone. From the momen I met you I knew you had to be mine, and everything you did after that affirmed it. Standing in the food dish, country dinner on all four paws; scaling my entire body because you wanted to be held; sitting in my lap every single night - never meeting a lap you didn't like or discovering an independent streak; laying accross my neck purring while I tried to fall asleep - my own personal tuxedo stole. You were truly one of a kind. Maybe because you were always a little weak, but really, I think that was just who you were. A momma's boy. It's so wrong here without you. I think Mitts knows because she isn't purring. I know I did right by you in your life, but I hope I did right by you in your death. It happened so fast, I never even got to hold you right at the end. And then I felt like I had killed you. PLease tell me that was right, Puff. I think you said you wanted to go, but I didn't want to let you. I want you back so badly. I can't imagine anything worse than what I"m feeling right now. Mitts takes too much encouragement to get in my lap, and she's a little ADD. Bailey is too fat. You were my lap baby. And you were so young. I know I was never told life would be fair, but this seems profoundly unfair. You were just a baby. My baby. God, it must be time to wake up. Someone wake me up! I can't believe this had to happen to you. Did it have to be you? I had such a terrible feeling about your surgery a few weeks ago - but you came back alive. Sickish, but alive. But that encourage this? Please tell me this would have happened anyway, so I know that I couldn't have helped it. You'd lost your appetite before then - you were tiny. I told the vet but he didn't listen. But what could he have done against an uncurable, fatal disease? Puff, when I saw you after you passed, I was so horrified. So much more than I've ever been before. What if there is no afterlife and I never see you again? Why didn't I sit with your for another hour? I knew you were uncomfortable. I hope you really were. You'd stopped purring, and you'd always been a purr machine. This is a bad dream, right? I really, truly had hope for a mintue when that occurred to me - it's totally horrible like a bad dream, something so awful that it can't possibly be true. Just please tell me I did right by you. I took your white eyebrow whiskar, but I don't think you minded. When I get you back on Monday with clay pawprints I'm sure I'll lose it for the rest of the day. God. This can't be right Puff, it can't. Puff, the name you were given because you were sick the minute I got you. I would have stuck with you through anything you know. I hope you know that. I hope you know how much I truly loved you. Your sister is in my lap with hiccups. She misses you too. Big sister Bailey will miss you too - you were her baby as well; the kitten that liked to be cleaned but didn't attack. Why you, Puff? Why my Puffy? I say everything happens for a reason, but I don't see the point in this. I hope you're at peace and waiting for me somewhere.
I will love you and miss you forever.
Your mommy
The reading to be done before the first day of a TWO credit seminar:
Some case from the 1890's (6 pages)
Cruzan v. Director, Missouri Dept. of Health (47 pages)
Planned Parenthood v. Casey (81 pages)
Two Chapters from "Life's Dominion" (64 pages)
203 pages? Are you kidding?
This is vaguely amusing. At least to me. At least, enough so to be worth breaking my close-to-infinitely-long posting drought.
I'm flying back down to Stanford for a recruiting trip later this month, and while I was booking my flight, I automatically went to see if I could book on United, since I could sit in Economy Plus and make my legs a lot happier.
Alaska turns out to be cheaper by just enough to make the United flight just outside of our policy (we've got some flexibility in the flights that we choose, but price is a factor), so I write the travel people asking if there's any way I can just pay the rest of the difference myself since the extra leg room is worth it to me.
They end up replying that it's fine for me to just go ahead and book it and I don't need to worry about the extra cost. Rationale: "I have heard you are very tall."
OK, maybe not that funny. But getting that mail made me laugh, at least.
--Nick